"We only take unpublished works, including the use of personal blogs."

Not knowing what to do with this blog anymore is like being an introvert in need of social interaction.  Why have I stopped posting poems?  Because I've started submitting them to quality magazines, and publishers are firm about only taking unpublished material.  What happens when I submit them?  Rejection, 10/10.

I can't even properly respond to this place I find myself in.  You see, my name is in the top right corner of this public blog, and heaven forbid a human being reads an expletive.  That is a traumatic experience.  I remember the first time I read an expletive.  I remember the day and year.

Wait, no.  I'm thinking about the time I ate a clump of deodorant thinking it was dried frosting.

In a tightly-crafted tapestry, we have successfully created systems where growing artists who want to live comfortably and pursue their passions semi-professionally (GASP YOU WOULDN'T DARE) are isolated from any meaningful audience.

I need both.  I need the harsh reality of the world writers live in, but I also need the outlet of real people reading me.  Asking me to improve and enjoy writing in isolation of an audience is like putting a teacher in a failing school for decades and expecting them to both improve and retain their love of teaching (not that I know what that's like, I mean, I'm just taking a shot in the dark here).  The escape of having a small group of dedicated readers...I mean like, less than ten basically...is the reason I decided, 16 years ago, that I wanted to write.  Finding a connection with you in those dark unmapped crevices of the mind where we stuff everything haven't found a place for yet.  The "spiritual communion" of using language to "transcend our isolation," as put by Kim Krizan (screenwriter of Waking Life).  That is what I want.

I refuse to stop submitting my work to magazines, but I also refuse to write without a growing audience.  So it can't be this completely public blog anymore, though I've dreamed of making this my promotional poetry site.  Catch me on facebook (I'll add you if we're not friends) if you want more poetry, where I've spent hours securing the lines of privacy that best protect and promote me.