In my Christian upbringing, the theme of constancy was holy and revered. God never changes; He is always the same and always will be the same. The Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End. We should be like God. Therefore, we should be constant, or at least approaching a universal standard of ethics. Our love should last forever. We should always forgive. There is Right, and there is Wrong.
I am learning to embrace the different women I become, and the different ethics I develop as I understand the nuances of being human, of being alive.
Being alive means sailing in a whirlwind of physics. The chaos of electrons as they swirl around the nucleus like flies around a light. As your prefrontal cortex grabs the windbag of sparkling entropy and steers it in a direction based on code. The code that you are continuing to write every day.
Your ethics are supposed to change. The universe is breathing and branching, and you are a glowing branch. Which means sometimes you have to bend, because that's where the forces are taking you, and that's where your light will keep shining.
You're not inconsistent. You're learning.
You weren't wrong. You're growing.
There is nothing more holy than that.
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